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You may want to bring her food because she may not have the strength to cook Try and get her out of the house. Walk with her, talk with her When you are grieving, knowing someone cares can make you feel less alone. It's helpful to know this is normal.
I'll be OK for a bit, then the grief hits me again. My precious baby died in my arms 4 days ago. He was a 6lb. Shihtzu, lived with congestive heart failure, diagnosed about 6 months ago. Time came when he was obviously failing. I knew he was suffering, Vet agreed to come to our home to euthanize He's been cremated, has a pretty little box. I don't know what to do with it.. Our precious dog was only 8 years old and died unexpectedly last night.
He had a ruptured spleen, but by the time the vets at the after hours urgent care and animal ER diagnosed him and started to stabilize him for surgery, he had lost too much blood and stopped breathing. I have immense feelings of guilt that maybe I didn't take him to the right place first, and that I should have known he wasn't well sooner. I keep running through it in my head. How could this have happened? He wasn't even sick until Friday evening and within hours, he was gone.
My husband, two girls, and I are all in agony over this, and I'm afraid for all of us that this pain won't ease with time. Our sweet boy was a huge part of our lives and we loved him with all our hearts. How do we go on? I don't know if anyone will even read this. I'm a 42 year old married man with no kids. We just lost our 15 year old little dog to cancer 2 days ago.
She was a daddy's girl and her loss has been unbearable to me. I've haven't cried since I was a kid and now I can't stop. She has been by my side everyday since we adopted her as a puppy from our local shelter. We have a new 4 month old puppy but it isn't the same. My wife has been my rock but it hasn't allowed her much time to grieve and I know she's worried about me. I just don't know how I'm going to make it without my little Abby. Matt, I hope your pain has lessened!
When I read your letter I thought I could have written it. I am 57 years old and my 14 year old Yorkie passed 31 hours ago. Never left my side, ever. Not since she was 3 inches big. My shirt is drenched in tears. I am emotionally devastated, sometimes can't breath. My wife is worried about me. She also asked me over the years me why I never cry. I told her I will be okay in time but don't know if I ever will be the same.
You might never read this but it has helped me writing it. Matt, you have my deepest and heartfelt sympathy. Almost 2 months ago I lost my beloved dog Fiona. I still cry every single day and my heart still hurts. She came to us from our local shelter when she was only 8 weeks old. I still feel her here sometimes. I highly recommend some of the books that are out there to help deal with the loss of a pet. Take it a day at a time and I am hoping it will get better for both of us.
Take Care. My heart is broken. My baby girl was taken suddenly after 14 years. I was hospitalized after it happened, but after a month, they released me. Now I'm at home, and it's even more painful. I can't function, and I want to die. She was my whole world. When I was 18 years old I attempted to take my own life, I took an overdose of painkillers, and alcohol then went to sleep. Lucky enough for me my body rejected the painkillers, I vomited most of them up.
Several days passed by, my mum brought home this little fluffball of a puppy. We named him Shadow he saved my life on the day he came home. He was with me through thick and thin for 13 years 4 months before being put to sleep earlier today. I'm still mourning the loss of my companion that was with me for my entire adult life, but thanks to him I learned to live again.
Nicky, if you somehow read this message please remember that your companion wouldn't want you to end your life, she wouldn't want you to be upset, she would want you to be the loving owner you were to her. While the loss of Shadow is very painful to me, I don't just mourn the loss, I celebrate the life that we lived together.
Remember the joy, fun, happiness you had with her, not just her passing. Nicky, I have just read your post. I realise that it was written in , however I just wanted to ask how you are. I hope that your suffering became a little easier to bear, and that you began to feel a little better.
I tried since October 28th to save her. She had a combination of cancer and non regenerative anemia, and quite possibly FIP, which caused the cancer and anemia. I adopted her and she was probably 5 when I got her. I just had her 3 years and 11 months.
She was the sweetest most beautiful cat ever. She was mostly white with black markings I will never forget her. She came meowing to greet me when I came home from work and she was always by my side. I wanted to die with her the night she died in my arms on my lap.
I don't really have that much to live for in this world. Hi Shannon, I can relate to you saying that you "don't have that much to live for in this world". I had to euthanase my best mate a few days ago and the grief is horrendous. I knew there would be intense sadness but I didn't expect the physical sickness, loss of appetitie, not wanting to go back to my house or even get into the car where she sat next to me on so many drives. Life is changing every hour it seems as I break the habits and routine we shared.
Suddenly I feel purposeless and a true aloneness that is actually sickening. The article above mentions volunteering at a shelter which is something I had already intended on pursuing. I'm wondering if that could be a healing step for you aswell. It is one way I can think of to regain that lost purpose and it would put you around like minded people.
I also feel that it's important to introduce distractions as becoming pre-occupied withh thoughts of loss is so damaging. We have to be pro-active about grief so it doesn't become chronic. I enjoyed reading about your cats markings and how she would greet you with meows when you came home. My cats do that too so I can just picture it.
Cats often have such funny, fascinating markings that make them unique and even more loved. I entitled this reply "Time" as that is the only treatment for grief. I want you to know that your sadness will definitely lessen and in time you will feel better more often. If it's too soon to have another cat you could maybe foster. We're not ready to love again but through providing love to a homeless animal we can find purpose, routine and a sort of renewal.
I truly hope you are doing ok and just want to say once more that I understand. The grief is intense and very real but unfortunately can be underestimated in our culture. We need to heal. My 11 year old dog Buddy was excited about his dinner two nights ago, bouncing on his front legs in his eagerness, scarfed his dinner down. An hour later he just inexplicably died. He was old but I was still shocked, like I'd been sucker punched, it's absolutely traumatic, I didn't sleep for 40 hours, didn't eat, still haven't eaten.
All I can think about is if I had taken him for a walk earlier, or if I hadn't left for thirty minutes at lunch to by coffee I could have spent that time with him, I can't even bear to see the area of the floor he liked to lie down on. The house just looks different, like a big piece of it has been taken away, which is true. I'd pay a thousand dollars to see him for just one more minute to say goodbye. I'm just walking around in a daze. Hi Clint, The relationship we have with our dogs is so underestimated by society, family, friends and even ourselves.
We know we love them but don't realise just how much until they're gone. It can be hard to talk about the loss as people around might underestimate the grief simply because we lost an animal rather than a human. That's when posting on pages like this can help which is where I turned recently when I lost my best mate 3 weeks ago. I understand your trauma and know what it's like to be rattled by unexpected grief.
I get that terrible feeling of shock you mention and the aloneness that follows when the routine you shared is gone. For what it's worth, the grief changes. You find yourself coping because that is your only choice. Your appetite will return still working on mine but getting there and you'll revive yourself emotionally. Grief comes with all sorts of symptoms and really surprised me recently with how crippling it can get.
That's what our dogs would do if they were without us and that is what they would want us to do. Your comment was emailed to me yesterday and I couldnt stop thinking about it. Just wanted to reply and let you know that lots of people are going thru the same and you're definitely not on your own.
Go well Buddy. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. The morning went as usual,her favourite, to sit on her soft Matt on the doorstep. I went in to make a cup of tea,and to bring her fresh water to her. She was not on the step so I looked out the window and she was living on her side ,eyes opened. I rushed out and picked my baby up and ran in the house.
Her limp body I laid on the coach as I called the vet,I knew she was gone. I cannot stop crying and my heart pains so. Just wondering if a heart murmur from birth could be a heart problem. The vets always checked her heart but I told them sometimes it beats so hard. How can I live without my pup. I love her to the moon and back,Her ashes are coming home to me but that is a small solace. I expected to have at least 4more years with her. Can somebody help me stop crying.
I feel dead inside. Hi Christina, What your feeling is painful and real and you need support. Noone tends to reply or support on this page so I would recommend you turn to Facebook. Just type pet loss into the search bar and you should find a supportive group somewhere who get your pain and respond to comments. Best wishes and sorry for what you're going through. Thank you Anne,inwill check it out.
I am so sick at heart. I slept with her bed pillow by me. My baby. I adopted her as an abandoned pup Black Lab mix in a poor shelter in Mexico 8 years ago and she was about 4 years old at the time. She had a tick disease called ehrlichiosis which took about 6 months to stabilize and the vet said it could still cause problems for her later in life. She has been my best best friend since then but arthritis set in last year and seizures came about once a month until she was immobile and could see the distress she was in and no longer walk and lost 20 lbs and I made the decision to euthanize her.
I don't know what else could have been done except MRI, but she would have been too weak for surgery. Though I know that Bella hit the lottery when I found her and moved her back to Florida where she had every comfort in the world including a queen size mattress as one of her beds, but I still feel major guilt because of the euthanizing. She probably lived about 7. I still feel terrible and my house is so empty without her and I don't even want to throw away her hair that I still see on the floor because it was a part of her.
It's been 4 weeks and I think things seem a little better than 2 weeks ago, but it is still overwhelming at times. To anyone who reads this, thanks and I am confident it will get better until Bella is a nice memory. I may go back in 6 months or so to the poor shelter and bring another pup back, but not ready to replace her immediately.
Just today Sunday we lost our beloved cat Pumpkin. It had been a normal day where he was let out this morning like every other sort of day. Oddly enough through-out the day we had see no sight of him. We tried calling for him. At around 1pm I left to go run out to the shops. I guess they had been speeding along the road and Pumpkin darted out or something. I feel like we've all been gut punched. Sick to my stomach. It wasn't easy finding him that way.
All I can say is if you really love your cats.. Pumpkin was a wild spirit of a cat who dearly loved us and we loved him. Always spend every day with your pets and give them the attention they deserve. I dunno how I'll ever get through this. This past Monday, November 12th, my partner and I said goodbye to our beautiful "baby girl" pug, Gena.
She blessed my life for nearly 9 and a half years and my partner's for just over 15 years. She fought so many things, cancer in , degenerative nerves in her back leg from forwards to the point where she could no longer move around even with help of a wheelchair and in her last few months, eye ulcers.
The daily work she required towards the end was extensive. I knew she was ready to go a little before we let her go but my partner had to be the one to make that decision, it would have been a betrayal if I had. Still, I do not think she was overwhelmed by it all until her last week. She was a beautiful soul, loyal, smart for a pug , and feisty. There is such a void in our every day routine now. I cry often but also know I must continue on with daily life.
Thankfully we do have our other pug, Winston, who has also had his struggles and will turn 13 in January. That will be hard for me as he is "my dog" from puppyhood. But we are focusing all of our love on him now, and I know his sister is watching over him from the rainbow bridge, where she is no doubt reigning queen. I shall miss our Gena every day but I know she is in a better place, free of all of her pain and struggles. My dog died four years ago, actually, in November.
While I get up every day, get dressed, do the things I need to do. I still miss her. I've come to realize, I always will in some way My dog dying was not just the loss of her.. It was the end of an era. During a time when my siblings and I would have grown up and parted ways that dog held the family together. After she died we all realized we had to move on It changed our whole family dynamic This pet was the one big thing in my life I had before I met my partner She represented so much and she held so many memories Yes, there will come a day where you can get out of bed and not hurt..
However, if you love your pet, you will never stop missing them. Well, the end is coming. The end of everything. My cat is about to die and in 4 days we are going to the vet for a final diagnosis. My mother said that if they say if he is not getting better that she will ask them to put him down.
The thing is, I know this thing would happen, for what happened to us, to him before, and it was a blessing to have hime every day. I just can can't handle it I am writing this at work cause I can't do my job. He is everthing to me. I have a quite heavy personality to handle and I am not liked by much people cause I am just to much for most of them. I got thim on my 3rd year at Uni. I wasn't living a happy life, and my parents thought it might help me to deal with the shit I was dealing with.
After a year he dissapeard my neighbour took all the pets from the street and left them in wild I wasn't giving up. And after 4 months we found him barley alive with deseases that don't have cure. They said he would in best chance survive for next 2 years. In next week my dad died.
And I haven't been stabile after that. I was the oldest of us, so I took everthing in my hands to help my mom cary the shit of life that was going on in front of us. And my Hiro was there, the only one there, licking my tears cause I felt so sad, and alone and dissapointed in to the world.
He is still today. The only one who loved me as me, and I love his so much, that seeing him this is too much. This year was particulary hard cause all my other pets died. I got fiered from a job after 5 years cause of lies, but hey there was my Hiro. I didn't have my own home, no friends, no boyfriend, but I did have my best friend. My only true friend. I just can't lose somebody this year. I cry every day.
And I am so angry cause my mom is again weak so I need to take him to be put down. I wish they would put us together. I just can't function socialy. One of my coworkers that I am on good tearms sends me photos of her cats to chear me up, and got mad when I toled her to stop sending me photos of cats who are young and healty, who don't pie on them self, and who eat, and are not so skiny that you can feel their bones.
My project manage cought me crying so I toled her, and she toled me well that is shit, but that is life. I kind of wished at that point to hurt sonebody she cares. I have 7 more days of vacation, and they are not letting me take a 2 days to take care of somebody I love.
Well what will happen if on Wednesday I don't ever come in. I mean I would be left without everthing. I fucking don't care about their project, hey I stayed so much overtime that took time of being with somebody who loved me, and who I love so much. So what is there to do? In the end it is not ok for me to cry, but to live do shit for others who I don't care about and die bouth ways.
Hi Cookie. I am so sorry to hear of your beloved cat. It is one of the toughest things when we have to let our furry friends go. I can't imagine what you're going through but you're not alone and time will heal that pain. I wrote about Pumpkin a few posts up and now I have come to terms with what happened to him.
You will heal and things will get better. Don't forget there are thousands of cats out there that need new homes. I know it's tough to think about all of this right now when your own cat is not well but you gave them the best life you could give them. I know it's not easy. I too had to take my previous cat to the vet as well because my dad would not.
Maybe your mom is as sensitive as my dad. Sometimes they just can't do it. You and I however are strong and go out there to handle the tough things in the world. Recently, my wife and I went through one of the more excruciating experiences of our lives — the euthanasia of our beloved dog, Murphy. I remember making eye contact with Murphy moments before she took her last breath — she flashed me a look that was an endearing blend of confusion and the reassurance that everyone was ok because we were both by her side.
Research has confirmed that for most people, the loss of a dog is, in almost every way, comparable to the loss of a human loved one. Perhaps if people realized just how strong and intense the bond is between people and their dogs, such grief would become more widely accepted. This would greatly help dog owners to integrate the death into their lives and help them move forward. For starters, dogs have had to adapt to living with humans over the past 10, years. Perhaps one reason our relationships with dogs can be even more satisfying than our human relationships is that dogs provide us with such unconditional, uncritical positive feedback.
This is no accident. They have been selectively bred through generations to pay attention to people, and MRI scans show that dog brains respond to praise from their owners just as strongly as they do to food and for some dogs, praise is an even more effective incentive than food. Dogs recognize people and can learn to interpret human emotional states from facial expression alone.
Not surprisingly, humans respond positively to such unqualified affection, assistance and loyalty. Just looking at dogs can make people smile. Dog owners score higher on measures of well-being and they are happier, on average, than people who own cats or no pets at all. Curiously, the same thing rarely happens with cat names.
For owners, their daily schedules — even their vacation plans — can revolve around the needs of their pets.
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